Here's What the New Coca-Cola Happy Tears Tastes Like

It’s starting to feel like Coca-Cola uses a Mad Libs book to plan their new releases. Case in point, Coca-Cola Happy Tears, a new version of Coca-Cola Zero Sugar “with a salty splash of minerals.” It’s sold exclusively on TikTok Shop in the form of a “hype kit” for $9.99. We were lucky enough to secure one of these kits before they sold out; now we’re forgoing an easy eBay payday to review it for you. 

New Coca-Cola Flavor!

Once we stopped being distracted by the shiny briefcase, shirt, sticker pack, and tissues included in the hype kit, we came to a shocking conclusion about the actual soda behind all this expensive marketing.

Pros: It tastes good? I’ll explain that ambivalence later in the “cons” section. The fizz level is closer to what you get in mineral water than standard Coca-Cola. While I couldn’t taste it, a few of my friends caught a subtle fruit undertone that Coca-Cola claims is “a sweet pinch of peach.” I know what you’re here for though: What about the hype? I’m a sucker for good branding, so I was charmed by the 3D “teardrop” on each can. And the surprisingly subtle long-sleeve shirt is a welcome addition to my ever-growing collection of beverage wear. A couple of the stickers will end up on my laptop.

I think I’ve exhausted everything nice I can say about this product; it’s time to drop the bombshell.

Cons: It just tastes like regular Coca-Cola Zero Sugar! It’s unbelievable that the most extravagantly marketed Coca-Cola Creations flavor to date is just…slightly fizzier than normal. It feels like we got robbed of a more exciting flavor profile because Coca-Cola didn’t want to risk putting out a divisive flavor for a launch that was promoted by TikTok stars sampling the soda live on camera. I wish they’d committed to the theme by really upping the salt level. Pepsi sells extra-salty Gatorade and it’s awesome! Coca-Cola Happy Tears Zero Sugar isn’t bad, it’s just boring. Unfortunately, this “hype kit” is an easy product to summarize: The soda is the least exciting part.

Credit: Liv Averett

Rating:

5/10

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